what do I want the most? to go back to London, to live there forever. simple fact.

I don't know why but I hated here. I just want to go to some place where no one knows me. or simply I may develope new things for me...I mean like I can make myself into someone new. because honestly surrounded by people who actually knew you, it seemed to be hard.

hmph...or probably I just want to runaway from here. to runaway from the things that I hate the most. the money, temptation, broken heart, envy, jealousy? all that kind of stuff. or probably because I don't want to see him again? but...poor him. he doesn't have anything to do my anger. but he's not also an inocense guy. lots of things to care for, lots of thing for me to think about it.

I just want to go there, so if I get tired of the world I can have a place to hide, to runaway or simply just to walk in the cold wind of winter. I just want to be there...that's all.

LOL...it must be really sad just to complain and telling story about love. but...actually I can't say that it's love (yet), more like crush.

but this time a fair crush. I like him, and I think he likes me too...(I think!) here's a thing guys, don't ever reply something or do anything to a girl who likes you. here's a clue, girls are intreprenter. we tend to intreper something that you guys do to us, and we asume that everything based on like or dislike.

for my case, yes he reply or sending me a feedback. he's a good guy, but we have tons of differences. but somehow that didn't stop me to liking him. he's a rude man, but then again so am I (sometimes). and the thing that ecxite me the most is that I can balance how I showed him how I feel, because sometimes I tend to do aggresive things to the guy that I like. now..I can be more relax, and sit back. I have tons of things I need to take care of, but then again I still show him how I really care for him.

I don't want him to always be with me, or to go out with me...sometimes I like to keep secret from him. or do something else without him. but then again, if I do that he tend to ask me why am I didn't ask him to go together...and I just went gaga..LOL
anyway...for now I just thank God, for this weird and strange relationship. no string attached, but I'm still fine with it. hehe I guess I just need the atention from a man, and that's what I got from him...or even more. sooo Thank God for that. because I think I like him more...

I think I probably should take a break from...
well being like or in love with someone.

turn out...yeah I'm not that ready to fall in love again or just being happly or madly in love. sometimes I just get tired of it. with that stupid thing that I usually do.

yeah I think...probably just to take a break of love
just for a quite while I'm not going to take love as a serious matter, just a nother thing that happen to people surrounding me... but not me

why should I realize it when I already here?
why can't I see it before?

with your weird hair, and your football uniform. strange tough as I like you.
they guy who as nothing as I like before...

dream or was it real to be. its weird, I never fall for someone like you.
common...man! how come I fell for this teriblly for this guy! man common!!!
I hate to have this feeling! it's killing me...I can't see him,, he barely knew me
and I barely knew him.

was God really sent him for me? or was it just the thought of mine? I never have a crush wtih a guy in a same religion...and same church point of view. these things never happen to me. I mean I fell for a guy in a different religion , or a different point of view...
but never this same a like.

if it is...then let be it. let it be true...don't killing me..It hurts just to be apart. not knowing what he is doing, not knowing where he is...its killing me...bcoz I like him a lot.

how can I make him realize that he is the one that I like at this present time?
was it hard for guys to really understand what I'm trying to do?

to support him in every kind of way
to always remind him about things called life.

or was I just a sister for him?
just still a kid who don't know anything about love
who only playing around with guys and her own feeling?

why can't he sees it?
I know there is someone.
I understand the path that he's taking

I get so breathless!!!
why does it sounded weird when you call my name.
'Lingkan'
as the word I never knew before, and it's driving me mad.
he says my name and it felt like a thunderbold hits me

ow...you really are some one of the kind guy. (if only I can tell you that)
you have a not-so-bad look, you are romantic, you understand people
what more can women ask for a guy like you?